Some stuff I cooked and then ate, come look at it (Four cheese mushrooms)

As you may know (if you’ve come here more than once), I eat like crap. I took a healthy recipe and went out of my way to make it unhealthy. I eat entire appetizer orders of fried pickles dipped in ranch BY MYSELF. Side note: if you’ve never had a fried pickle and you’re not currently worried about the state of your arteries, go try some. OMG.

But for real, I’ve been trying to eat a little bit healthier. Like opting for regular pickles instead of the breaded kind. When I make a recipe that calls for cheese, I use the appropriate amount of cheese. Where’s the fun in that? In my ass not being the size of the moon (just kidding, don’t call me a hypocrite for saying that after I wrote all of this).

I present to you my version of Four-Cheese Stuffed Silly Mushroomsmodified because I forgot to buy some of the ingredients and because I didn’t feel like dealing with spinach. Okay? Get off my back. Here is my ingredient list:

  • An 8 oz. package of baby bella mushrooms
  • Minced garlic, as much as you want
  • Four wedges of Laughing Cow cream cheese
  • Two wedges of any other variety Laughing Cow cheese (I used Swiss)
  • One large tomato, chopped (with pulpy part removed)
  • Italian seasoning
  • Salt
  • A little bit of whatever white shredded cheese you have in the fridge (I used “pizza” cheese)
  • Shredded mozzarella
  • Some onion – I did not use this, but the original recipe calls for it. I hate onions.


Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Remember to actually do this part.

Yank the stems out of the mushrooms. Do this gently, or else you will ruin all the mushrooms and have to go buy more. Place mushrooms on greased baking sheet and cook for 12-14 minutes.

Chop the mushroom stems.

Throw them in a pan with the garlic, tomato, italian seasoning, salt, and some olive oil. Cook for like…I don’t know, maybe five minutes. It’ll probably look icky.

Do not be deterred by the grossness of its appearance. Set this aside. Grab your cheeses. These are my cheeses:

If you could pretend not to notice how gross my countertop is, I would really appreciate it. Okay. So. Take your cheeses. Open them. Dump them in a bowl. Dump your gross oatmeal-looking stuff in a bowl. Add the mozzarella. Mix it all together until it looks even grosser.

By this point, your mushrooms should be done. Once they are cool enough to handle without burning yourself profusely, remove all the excess water – and believe me, there will be excess water. Dump some of it out, sop some of it up with paper towels. It’s not a perfect process. Just get rid of the water. Then put the mushrooms back on the baking sheet.

Now we will stuff the mushrooms. Distribute the cheese mixture until it is all gone. Your mushrooms will look something like this:

Sprinkle a little bit of parmesan on each of them. Put back in the oven for 8-10 minutes. Remove. Let cool. Eat.

Thank me later. You will be happy.


The end.

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2 thoughts on “Some stuff I cooked and then ate, come look at it (Four cheese mushrooms)

  1. i bet they are so tasty. wish i had a shred of cooking talent and i could try and eat these. prob cant though. literally – worst cook ever. someone always ends up injured or sick.. im usually that person.

    • Oh believe me, I understand. I’m trying to learn to cook more things now that I’m not in college and don’t have an excuse to eat crappy stuff all the time, but just this past weekend I was trying to make a grilled cheese sandwich and gave myself a four-inch burn down my arm. Ridiculous.

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