Dear Anonymous Internet Commenter

Although I have not blogged in a few months (more on that in another post, I suppose), I received a new comment last night. An anonymous comment. A really, really long anonymous comment. I’m not going to copy and paste it here, but I will sum up some of the key points for you guys:

  • My blog is lame and I am lame. (relevant video)
  • I should stop trying to impress people because…
  • Nobody likes me.
  • Nobody reads my blog.
  • I am full of myself.
  • I am a big slut.
  • In closing, Amy Brown is the worst. Fuck Amy Brown.
  • Love, anonymous

I’m sure you weren’t expecting a response, anonymous, but you did take the time to write to me. It only seems polite that I take the time to write back. And here’s what I have to say: Continue reading

Crappy Guys I Dated So You’ll Never Have To: A Retrospective

Thank me later.

So after the unforeseen success of my previous post, it seems that I may have more sage wisdom to offer than I – or any of you – thought I did. Hooray! In all seriousness, though, I started to get to thinking about what else could be considered an area where I have expertise. And then it hit me: guys you should never date. Why is that my area of expertise? BECAUSE I HAVE DATED BASICALLY ALL OF THEM.*

OK, so maybe that’s not really true. But I do have some comically bad relationship stories – only comical now that some time has passed, so I may look back and wince at a mental slideshow of poor judgment call after poor judgment call.

And so, dear readers, I pass my infinite 23-year-old wisdom down to you. May you never be dumped in a Myspace message while you’re broken out in hives all over your body (hahahaha just kidding, you guys don’t have Myspace). Continue reading

You are not above working at Starbucks.

I turned 23 last Friday, which means it’s been almost a full year since I graduated from college. It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long – probably at least half due to the fact that it took me four months post-graduation to find a job. I thought I was doing everything right. I didn’t understand why success wasn’t just falling at my feet. Of everything I read and everyone I spoke to, nobody bothered to give me the big piece of advice that could have pushed me in the right direction:

You are not above working at Starbucks.

What does that mean? It means that I was willing to do anything to succeed – except swallow my pride. Let me tell you a story. Continue reading